What Being “The Nerdy Girlie” Means in My 40s

I didn’t expect to come back to an old version of myself.

Not in my 40s.
Not after everything that’s happened.

But here I am,
curled up with Simon, coffee in hand,
fully invested in Fringe like it’s 2008 again!

There was a time when being “the nerdy girlie” felt like home.

Back then, it looked like:

    ☕️ Late nights blogging or binging my favorite show.
    ☕️ Getting emotionally attached to fictional characters. I'm looking at you Peter Bishop.
    ☕️ Planning outfits around San Diego Comic-Con because it was my holiday.

And in 2015, San Diego Comic Con and I went out with a bang.

That year was big.
Full.
Loud in the best way.

It felt like the closing of a chapter, even if I didn’t say it out loud at the time.

And life moved forward.

Career. From preschool assistant to Senior Business Operations Manager with a SHRM certification.
Relationship. Divorced, to single to married again.
And Responsibilities. Simon and now Molly.

These were the kind of years where I didn't stop liking things you begin trying new things. Running, Climbing and Criminal Minds.

But something shifted recently.

I felt the urge to blog again.
I was saying yes to things that felt a little uncomfortable. Hello rock climbing.
I began to introduce my husband to old favorites Dexter and Hannibal.

Or maybe it was just hitting play again on Fringe, my comfort show.

Because here’s the thing I didn’t expect:

I didn’t come back to the 2015 version of myself.

She was just…hibernating.

Being a “nerdy girlie” in my 40s doesn’t look like it used to.

It’s quieter.

It looks like:

    ☕️ Letting myself start up old collections. Check out that stuffed animal hammock!
    ☕️ Getting pulled into a story and not apologizing for it. I see you Heated Rivalary.
    ☕️ Saying yes to going back to Comic-Con, this time with my husband, who has never been.

Now, it’s about sharing something that used to be mine of a different life, with the love of my life.

I will be walking into Comic-Con again, but seeing it through his eyes.
Letting it be nostalgic, but not trying to recreate what it was. It will be the start of something new. ♥️

There’s a comfort to visiting to an old version of yourself, not living there, but recognizing it and give yourself a friendly hug.

To realize it wasn’t a phase.
It was always a part of you.

Still is. But different, evolved.

So this year, I’m going back to Comic Con.

Not to chase what 2015 felt like.

But to see what it feels like now.

And maybe that’s what being a nerdy girlie in your 40s really is:

Not outgrowing the things you love.

Just growing into them differently.

If you’re in a season of rediscovering parts of yourself you thought you left behind
you’re not alone! I’ll see you on the convention floor nerds.

☕ This is part of a bigger story about trying new things, starting over, and saying yes.

Read 100 Cups of Coffee