There’s a version of love I used to believe in.
- The kind where you just make it work
- where things are fine
- where you convince yourself that “this is just what relationships are like”
And then there’s the version of love I live now.
The kind where someone speaks about you with pride even when you’re not in the room.
The kind where you feel safe, supported, and completely yourself.
And once you experience that.
You can’t accept anything less.
❤️ THE MOMENT THAT REMINDED ME
Yesterday, my husband's Aunt was texting him.
She had received our holiday card and asked if it was photoshopped! 😂
His response wasn’t just a quick answer, it reminded me why I fell in love with him.
- he explained how much work I put into it
- how intentional it all was (we did it on our 1 year wedding anniversary)
- how he would never let me be unsafe (he is the one who introduced me to climbing)
And then he said something that touched my heart:
He told her how proud he was of me.
And he does this all the time. I'm not sure why this time shocked me (in the best way), but it was a small reminder on a normal day that I was with my person.
💡 WHAT CHANGED (AND WHAT I DIDN’T EXPECT)
I as a Pisces, I always thought marrying the right person should feel like:
more romance
more excitement
more “big moments”
But what actually changed my life were the small things.
him making toys for my cat Simon
him independently learning about what my body is going through during my period
him brining me a cat coffee mug every "caturday"
🤍 I STOPPED FEELING LIKE I HAD TO PROVE MYSELF
With the wrong person, there was always this underlying feeling of:
👉 Am I too much?
👉 Am I not enough?
With the my person…
That noise went quiet from day one. This girl was excited because she knew she had finally met him.
There was no performing from day one. We are were both ourselves and we fell in love with that.
🤝 WE’RE A TEAM
One of the biggest differences?
It’s not me vs. him.
It’s us vs. everything else!
This is showing up in everyday life like:
how we handle stress, did you read about our honeymoon?! (Day 1 & Day 2 were the hardest)!
how we navigate routines
how we raise a chaotic, adorable puppy
Research shows that turning towards each other in difficult times strengthens a relationship. Small bids each day add up to a life time of love. (The Gottman Institute)
☕ LITTLE THINGS MATTER MORE THAN THE BIG
It’s not grand gestures that changed my life.
It’s things like:
him asking if it is ok to share my blog with his family
learning everyone's names at my job and holding my emotional puke bucket each day
him cooking dinner each night and asking if I got enough
That’s what love actually looks like.
Not loud.
Not performative.
It is consistent follow through (our relationship motto). Do you have a relationship motto? Our's just naturally fell into place.
🧠 I FEEL EMOTIONALLY SAFE
This is the one I didn’t fully understand before. And is the most important to me now.
Feeling:
heard
respected
supported (he is my biggest cheerleader)
Those aren’t “nice to have” things.
They’re the foundation of a healthy marriage and lifelong friendship. (The Gottman Institute)
And when you have that?
Everything else feels easier.
stress is lower, even with dogs barking
communication is better, even when you are upset
life feels more stable, because you have a solid foundation
🌿 LIFE FEELS CALMER
Not boring.
Calmer.
There’s no second-guessing!
No emotional chaos!
No wondering where you stand.
And I felt this all from our first date. 2nd, and 3rd.
👉 he’s always in my corner, he always shows up. Always.
That kind of emotional support has real impact, lowers stress, creates stability, and a deeper connection over time. (The Gottman Institute)
❤️ WHAT MAKES HIM DIFFERENT?
If I had to put it into words...
He’s kind, happy and pays attention. This was completely evident during our wedding vows.
Not only when it’s easy or when things are good...
But in the small, everyday moments. Like taking an extra shift with the puppy when I’ve had a long day in the office.
And that matters more than people realize.
Because kindness is what builds trust, connection, and emotional safety over time, in all relationships. (The Gottman Institute)
Picking the right person didn’t change everything. I had to work on myself too! And still do.
But it did slowly change everything.
- The way I push myself
- The kindness I give myself
- The way I experience love
And maybe the biggest shift of all?
I never feels like I have to figure anything out alone.
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