Sunday, October 25, 2020

thank you 2020

When 2020 started I was thinking it would be the best year of my life. Didn't we all? A NEW decade! The future! I was so ready for it. Even looking back now on all that has happened. It really has been the best year of my life. Here's why....

January started off with our annual girls trip to Mexico. I arrived terribly sick. But what a way to be sick on the beach in Mexico!

In February I started going to therapy. It was the first time I had ever been in my life and I was excited to start working on myself for this new decade.

I LOVE my birthday. And I am so thankful that I have the two BEST friends, because they made this one the best I've ever had. Thinking back to the beginning of COVID and us wondering what it would mean for the rest of our year. We could have never predicted what was to come.

All of April I worked from home with Ocean Eyes. A month long realization of the denial I had been in for the past 4 1/2 years. I held on so tight for all the wrong reasons.

May 4th I witnessed him being someone I knew I couldn't be with. And even still wouldn't let go. I forced him to break up with me. I was in my new apartment on the 9th.

Lost, I found joy in the cutest orange kitten. He and I helped each other start a new life together.

By the end of June, I was finally confident enough to move on. But too soon found someone else to wound my heart and decided to figure my shit out.

In July I went on my first solo road trip to Mount Rushmore. I'd always wanted to go. Kept saying I would go. But I let my relationship hold me back from so many adventures. Luckily not my career which lead me into Conscious Leadership. Through adventure, Conscious Leadership and therapy I could feel my self start to be something new and better. 

In August, every Sunday it is time to adventure! I've seen more of my state than I had since living her since 2015! Being alone, driving, singing my way towards being comfortable and really enjoying me and my alone time.

With the biggest adventure being my Labor Day road trip. I wanted to do it alone and I did. I wasn't lonely. I had one crying moment. But it was so healing. I returned to finish out my 100 days since the FINAL break up focusing on myself and discovering what I want out of the rest of the year.

Now I'm testing the dating waters. So far a few didn't work out. And guess what?! I survived. It was totally fine! I'm learning so much. I know that the person I described on my list is out there. And now I can see what is working and what isn't. And I'm not afraid to walk away. 

Through it all, if I didn't have my best friends, my job, therapy and the introduction to Conscious Leadership, I couldn't be the person today that I am so proud to be. Ever evolving, ever adventuring and loving me and ready to love again.


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