Put My "Heart In A Box" Please

The day I told my husband I was leaving him, was the first day at my very first full time job. In these past seven months the theater and my co-workers have become my family. I don't know how I would have gotten through without them. Hugs, hand holding and alllllllll the feelz.

Enter one crummy Saturday morning. I was feeling down on myself. Which isn't always. There are up days and down days, and this was a down. Saturdays are usually myself and another manager, Mr. Johnson. I proceeded to lay on him my woes.

"I wish I could take my feelings out for just a moment and see what that would feel like. I feel so much all the time, it would be nice to have a break from my emotions."

He looks up from his iPhone. I thought he was just uh-huh-ing me these past few minutes. But he wasn't. His eyes lit up and he told me about Heart In A Box, by Kelly Thompson, one of his favorite graphic novels. I ordered it on the spot.

Emma lives in LA. Emma has relationship issues. A gay BFF who talks her out of her despair. Emma wants to not feel anymore.

Sound like someone you know? I about died.

"If the man with no name can't understand what a fucking treasure you are, then he's just not even worth it in the first place."

THAT is page 14.

I about lost it.

Funny thing is, all of these guys I've dated, I've made up names for. Number One. Gay Chris. Insta Greg. Irish Guy. I began reading in a diner in Silver Lake. But really wanted to finish it in my favorite LA spot Griffith Observatory.

I read a few chapters at the diner, I then chased the sunset to plop down in the grass and finish this novel that spoke deep into my soul. It was exactly what was happening to me. Emma doesn't want to feel anymore. Bob comes and takes her heart away. Emma is ready to have it back after nine days but comes to find out it is now in six pieces and she must go on this journey to make it whole again.

I am on a journey to be whole again. I feel like my heart is in more than six pieces. I'm not sure I'll ever get a couple of those pieces back and I'm not sure when it will be whole again. But I'm on this journey. I'm embracing this journey. And like Emma, maybe one day I'll run into my Pete and let him keep the rest of my heart.

I read it again straight away! Thank you OJ and thank you Kelly.